Plain English Business Training Tips

Subject lines , especially when writing business documents (most effective when written in plain language) are among the first things readers see as they go through their inboxes. From them, readers make judgments about the content of the messages (in business pieces written in plain language for effectiveness) and the skill of the writers. Meaty subject lines help readers and writers alike to file messages and find them later.

Pack the subject line with meaning

Rethink any subject line that’s a vague word or two. This principle rules out unhelpful subject lines such as Hello, Stuff, and Help. The best subject line is longer and more informative, like a newspaper headline. It goes beyond identifying the (business writing) topic to saying something about it. Readers needn’t open the message to get a good idea of what’s inside:

For

Subject: Parking

Subject: Staff meeting

Try

Seeking Two Parking Spaces

Staff meeting moved to July 1

Don’t try to make your reader curious. Don’t add just anything (using plain language, of course) to avoid sending a blank subject line. Get right to the most significant fact (in the business document you are writing based on plain language) of your message. Many messages make requests or give answers. By putting either in the subject line, you’ll save words later:

For

Subject: Copies of Guides

Alison,

Can you spare 10 copies of eWriting? I need them by May 3. Our last production run was 10 copies short, and the next run isn’t until June 3. Thanks!

Lefty

Try

Subject: Need 10 eWriting by May 3

Alison,

Our last production run was 10 copies short, and the next run isn’t until June 3. Thanks!

Lefty

In a routine message to a familiar reader, the subject line may say it all. Just remember to end it with your name so the reader knows you’re finished:

Subject: I’ll come by at 4 pm –Sebastian

Keep subject lines current

In the back and forth of emails, the original subject can become stale quickly, which doesn’t matter much if an exchange is routine and short lived. But when your message changes a significant conversation, update your subject line. The change distinguishes your message from the others in the thread:

Subject: RE: Fuel Economy of Trucks (WAS: Fuel economy of cars)

Subject: RE: Returning unused funds (WAS: Award Document for…)

The two examples orient a reader by keeping at least some of the previous subject line (of the written business exchange). In the second example, the three ellipsis periods substitute for minor matter that would have lengthened the subject line needlessly. Changing the subject line won’t break the thread; all the messages in a series will still appear one on top of the other.

Front load the subject line

An informative subject line starts fast. It communicates even if the reader uses a BlackBerry or other handheld device whose inbox defaults to only the first few words of the subject. Here’s how a meager subject line might grow into something both informative and front loaded:

Subject: Proposal

Subject: Proposal for May and August writing classes

Subject: Proposal for writing classes in May and August

To make a special message stand out for readers who may get many dozens of emails every day, start with a word in all caps that gives the general idea. A few examples: REMINDER, UPDATE, URGENT, DECISION.

Subject: ACTION–Approval for Report on Ozone Control Act

Subject: INFO–Morrison Case reaches NAFTA Tribunal

Such flags have a long history. The U.S. Social Security Administration re-quires that subject lines of all memos end with ACTION or INFO. But to make your flags visible in an inbox that has a narrow subject column, place them first.

Treat unrelated subjects in separate messages

Avoid putting unrelated subjects in the same message. A rushed reader may respond to the first subject and never get to the next one—a virtual certainty if the next subject lurks below the first screen, to be discovered only if the reader scrolls. Besides, when the subjects are unrelated, just where do you and your reader file the message or look for it later?

If a message covers a couple of loosely related subjects, you might touch on them in the subject line:

For

Subject: Schedule update

Subject: May 8 class

Try

June class delayed, July class confirmed

Equipment and room arrangement for May 8 class

Understand some oddities of Outlook

Most email programs warn you if you try to send a business message written in plain language whose subject line is blank—a handy feature that prevents sending prematurely. But for all its power, Outlook 2003 won’t flag the omission. Your message will just go, and readers will be treated to an unhelpful <no subject>.

Still, Outlook 2003 does a fine job of letting you peek at a message before opening it completely. With AutoPreview enabled, your inbox displays the subject line and the first three lines of text of message in your inbox. With Reading Pane enabled, you can read the first paragraphs of a message by clicking on the entry in the inbox. (Settings are in the main mail View menu.)

Yet many readers don’t use either AutoPreview or Reading Pane. They get so many business messages every day that they need all their screen real estate just to see the subject lines—which takes us back to the big idea of this section: a long and informative subject line (based on and written using plain language) gives readers the general idea without having to look further.

• Who are your readers? Decide who needs to act on what you say (To line), who needs to know but not act (Cc line), and who needs a secret copy (Bcc line). Then, because forwarding is so easy, you’d better anticipate the business readers you haven’t named.

• What do your business readers know already (about writing using plain language), and what do they need to know now (again, about plain language business writing)? Don’t let your writing raise more questions than it answers.

• What interests your readers? If writing to persuade (and here again, business documents written in plain language are extremely effective) rather than just in-form, make at least one appeal to those interests.

• What are the obstacles? At least acknowledge them. Better, demolish them.

• What will make it easy for readers to understand or act (the business documents you have written)? To write well (certainly in plain language), you must want to help the other person.

Just as important as reading your readers is knowing your own purpose. What specific action do you want your business writing in plain language to produce? Judge everything you write by how well it furthers your purpose. Gauge how effective your business documents are when written in plain language.

Suppose you work in the human resources office. You may write a letter to a college student selling him on your internship program, an email to your supervisor telling her how the intern program is going, and an instruction to your replacement explaining how to get things done. In each case, you adjust for your audience and purpose. The more deliberate the adjustments, the more you are likely to make sound choices about what to say and how to say it.

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